I’ve never felt so sad or upset. I don’t have much energy left to argue or have disagreements with people. I just wish everything was better for me and the people around me. I thought why are all these negative things happening. But at the same time I think to myself and say maybe I deserve this. Maybe I led myself to this. In which I’m starting to think I did.

I’ll be fine.


Christmas Shopping

I’m up once again.. I don’t know why I woke up this now. But I’m going to spoil the beans on who I’m getting gifts and what gifts I’m getting them. Starting off with my parents they recently just got married. I want to order them a picture frame with their name and the date they got married carved on there. They don’t have one of those frames yet, So I know it’ll make them happy. For my sister, she’s simple. She’s getting a bunch of smell goods from Bath & Body and a gift card to her favorite restaurant. With my brother I haven’t thought about his gift, but he likes wearing hats. So when I go to the mall I might just buy him a hat and a shirt. I don’t really know what I’m getting my grandma, but it will be something special. For my boyfriend, I know this is weird but he’s getting some underwear. He’s also getting a custom game controller with some of our pictures on there. His mother is a sweet heart and does a lot for me, so I’m getting her a charm to go on her charm bracelet and a gift card. A teacher, my principal, and my lovely secretary are also getting a card with a gift card. Oh and maybe a picture of me. I don’t really care for receiving gifts this year, although they would be nice.

Through the Night

I’ve been up for quite a while now. I woke up because I had to use the restroom. Once I used the rest room I was thirsty. Instead of drinking water, I drank some Coke. In which as I’m laying here now I shouldn’t have done that. Majority of the time I’ve been thinking. What if I actually do end up graduating early. I feel as though It’ll take me some time to get used to it, but i’ll be fine. Also wishing one of my teachers put grades in the grade book from 2 weeks ago, I really need to see where I will be at in her class. But I don’t see that happening until the day of that classes final. Probably not even then. Before I thought about writing this blog. I did some more Christmas shopping and added 1 more person to my list. This year I’m not worried about receiving anything. Honestly I don’t even want anything probably don’t even deserve anything. I just can’t wait to see the people’s faces around me when they open their gifts. But I guess I’ll try to go back to sleep in a minute.

Family Things

I think my family is pretty boring. I could be wrong, but we like never do anything fun. The last time we’ve doing something together as a family was Thanksgiving dinner. But not everyone was there. Maybe when I was about 6 or 7. My family and I used to go out a town and just have a good time together. I don’t remember everything detail by detail, but I miss every memory that I have. Now we barely do anything as a family. I just recently took noticed to it. Because my boyfriend family is always doing family events. I’ve probably done more things with there family than my own. And that’s because my family does nothing. I have brought it up to my parents. She says she has trips planned for us in 2018. But I honestly don’t see that happening. It’ll be fun if it does actually happen, I’ll be really excited. I’d just really wish we hadn’t stopped doing family things together.

The Perfect Life.. Years From Now

If I could have the perfect life. I would be between 26-28 with no health problems for my family and I. I would most likely be living in a 2 floor house, guess I should say a decent house. A house maybe in the county. I would be a nurse practitioner. Be married with 2 kids… And pregnant. Seems like the perfect life to me. I would own and drive a Jeep Cherokee. I would be married to the sweet loving guy I am with now. My family and I would be close again. I can’t really think of anything else. I’m probably missing a few things, But I think this’ll be the perfect life for me.


I was just in Walmart getting me some food to fix. And what this man did kind of bothered me. We was in one of the frozen foods aisle. While I was writing this something else just bothered me as well. But that’s a whole another story. Anyways so I was walking away from him, and all I heard was this hoarse cough. Of course everybody coughs so I had absolutely no problem with that. But then as he continued coughing loudly, I had twisted my head to see if I missed what I was looking for. Remind you he’s still coughing. I could see him in the corner of my eye. I had already turned back around but something told me to look again and I did. While he was coughing, He wasn’t covering his mouth. He was also coughing all over the groceries in the freezer. I was so surprised and disgusted. My 2 year old nephew even knows that when he coughs he should cover his mouth.

First time

Last week was a very exciting week for me. I’ve did something that I’ve never done. It was a great experience, and I was really excited to go through the process. I published a book on amazon. At first, I wasn’t going to finish writing my short story, because I kept getting stuck on scenes. It was a little complicated. But I’m happy I got through with it. Anyways last week my whole entire Creative Writing class had a book party/poetry slam at this place called the Wolf. It went well. I think everyone did a awesome job on saying their poem & blurb on stage. Our host did a great job. I don’t know about everyone else, but I was pretty nervous even though I was just going up to say about 2 sentences. I was so excited I posted a pic on social media.

I thank Mr Durham for giving me the opportunity to have a experience like that.

Also if you haven’t already & would like to read my short story, here’s the link.